7 Steps of Process – Determination

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The fourth step of process is DETERMINATION. Here, the impact has been determined and the attraction will be seen at that moment as either positive or negative. You will see the impact as creative or destructive and you will determine what to do with it. In our example, you see the form of the sunflower and determine that it is very beautiful where it grows and so choose not to cut it. You could have also decided that its pollen aggravated your hay fever and moved away from it. Or you could have decided to cut the sunflower and take it home to eat the sunflower seeds.

However, if at the point of determination, you do not have acceptance and tolerance of the action or object, if you get into judgments or comparisons, etc., you will create limitations and block the next step

7 Arrows – Dark Arrow of the Needy Child Syndrome

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Picking up the 6th dark arrow means we have already picked up the 1st dark arrow of attachments, the 2nd dark arrow of dependencies, the 3rd dark arrow of judgements, the 4th dark arrow of comparisons, and the 5th dark arrow of Expectations. We have created needs that are not based in reality, becoming dependent on them for short-term pleasure and long-term pain. We judge our self, life and others so we feel okay, and have found others that are “like” us so we can put down those who are “not like” us. Our delusions about these non-existent “needs” place in the center of expectations, reliving the past and all of the other “needs” that were not met and projecting to the future, convinced that those needs will not be met either. Sounds pretty bleak!

The 6th arrow on this dark side is the Needy Child Syndrome.  This is the absolute need for love, recognition, acceptance, security, and support from others as a way to define and identify our self.  This is the place where we are constantly looking outside ourselves to feel okay.  This is acceptable as a child who cannot meet their own needs.  But as adults, it becomes total self-indulgence.